Sister Fire — Come Sit With Us

As I am writing this, The Utah Desert is burning. News of another massive wild fire, growing at a rapid rate, with very little containment, emergency evacuations being issued, feels like a daily occurrence. I live in the West Desert of Utah and just 30 miles south of my home, a couple of raging wild fires are ravaging the beautiful, vast open landscape of sage brush, rabbit brush, pinion pines, junipers, and a wide array of desert flora and fauna. The Iron Mine and Cherry Creek fires have forced evacuations in several small rural towns, including the land of some of my ancestors, Eureka Utah. Don’t even get me started on the Cottonwood fire happening much further south of here. Absolutely unbelievable. Seemingly unstoppable.

A couple days ago I saw incredible video footage of a herd of massive Elk fleeing the scene, from flames so massive, it felt nothing short of holy and miraculous they had made it out. Or rather, that far. Because honestly, where the fuck do they go from there? It ripped my heart right out of my chest and left it lying on the ground, shattered, as I contemplated this question.

No packing up the car with your most precious belongings and driving over to the local church, providing food and shelter, for the Elk. This isn’t to say that humans aren’t experiencing massive, heart wrenching devastation from the fires. Some, absolutely are. But its the wild life, that always sits heavy on my heart. They are not given any choice and have only their resilience, instincts, and wildness to rely on.

Their home is burning and they’re running straight forward, wild and instinctual, towards a person with a camera, filming it go down. One Elk (seemingly the leader) saw the person behind the camera, stopped, staring straight into their soul (or mine anyway). Suddenly, all these massive antlered, stunning and majestic creatures come running our of the smoke filled skies, fleeing a fire, that humans caused. Gutted.

Sometimes I don’t know how to reconcile things like this in my heart. Writing is one way. Going inward and feeling it all as it spills out onto these pages and witnessing how my own life can be mirrored in nature, through her cycles, through her beauty as well as her great challenges.

It’s been over three weeks since I began writing this publication and invited Sister Fire to sit with me and share her wisdom. What a doozy this sit has been. Fire has been sweeping through my life, so much so, it’s made it very difficult to finish writing this transmission and finally post. I feel in this deeply embodied way, how Sister Fire has been moving through my being for quite some time now. There have been many, many initiations, lighting a fire under my ass, forcing me to surrender everything I think I know, and allow this much larger force to move me, where she will, where she must.

There is a voice within you—ancient, wise, utterly your own. 

It speaks in the language of dreams, synchronicities and body sensations, in the cycles of your becoming, in the quiet moments when you finally allow yourself to just be.

My dear friend and Evolutionary Astrologer, Lila and I were talking about how so much Fire and Air are stirring in the Cosmos right now.

• Venus is in Leo (fire)

• Mars is in Gemini (air)

• Jupiter is in Leo (fire)

• Saturn is in Aries (fire)

• Uranus is in Gemini (air)

• Neptune is in Aries (fire)

• Pluto is in Aquarius (air)

That’s ALOT of Fire and Air. As Double Taurus with a Cancer Moon, these transits are really pushing me out of my comfort zone. Shit feels very unpredictable right now. Air and Fire are sweeping through both my inner and outer landscapes. Which like everything, has both beauty and challenge, light and shadow and often makes this Earth bound, Water Moon Sister, want to dig her heels in deeper and/or hide in her little emotional Cancer Moon cave and feel all her feelings.

However, what do Fire and Air need, to find some semblance of balance or containment? Earth and Water! And, that is exactly who the I am. My roots run deep. My water well, often runneth over. I’ve got this. We’ve got this. My life has been taming one fire after another since I came out of the womb.

Let’s get grounded. Let’s stay fluid. Let’s grow wiser and stronger. Let’s use this fire to get way more creative and sustainably conscious. Let’s use all this air to get more focused, sharpen our communication, intelligence and intention. Let’s stay connected to our breath and bodies, to ether and spirit, to our hearts and our innate intuition. Let’s move mountains if we must. Let’s trust this inner fire to move us, where she must.

I hold space for women in transition to hear this voice. Women who are navigating the cyclical, sacred inner passages of birth, life, death, and rebirth. Women who know, deep in their bones, that they are being called inward.

My childhood is steeped with memories, running wild in the west desert, filthy dirty, hair matted, completely earth stained, gathering rocks, flowers, feathers, sticks, and making mud pies and mysterious concoctions with all sorts of wild medicine. Foraging for pinyon pine cones only to smell them roasting over an open fire (or in the oven) and eating fresh, hot pine nuts right out of the pine cone, stand as some of the greatest memories of my life.

Much of my childhood was spent sleeping under the stars. The only fires I remember were the ones that kept us warm under a brisk desert night, while cooking tin foil dinners or a dutch oven. Of course there were wild fires back then, but I knew nothing outside the bubble of my life. The only fires I know about were the once we seemingly had at least some control over, contained as the y were in a little stone circle.

This is soul work. Not the kind that bypasses your humanity, but the kind that honors your body as a holy vessel, your heart as the seat of transformation, your whole being as worthy of unconditional love and devoted attention. 

I LOVED a camp fire. I still do. I was without a doubt a wild child, with a deep love for wild things. I still am. I worshiped the moon and truly believed she was following me everywhere I went. I still do. I worshiped the earth and loved having my hands and feet in the dirt as often as I could. I’d wake up at the crack of dawn and practically fling myself out of the house before my mom could stop me to brush my hair or make me put on shoes. Off to the wild desert, sage brush fields I’d go.

I talked to plants, stones, animals, stars, the moon, trees, even the fire. Little Hilary knew everything was alive with consciousness and if you really know me, then you know, not much has changed in that regard. Yep! That’s right. I still got it. Come find me in my garden with wild hair, in a summer dress, with filthy feet and hands at 6 am.

Of course, there have been many times (this week alone, not to mention my entire life) where I’ve lost this wild part of myself and had to remember and retrieve her.

I sit here in my garden, under my grandmothers pine tree, with an oracle deck and a cup of coffee, writing with dirty finger nails and bare feet on the land where my father (whom I barely knew) was raised, by my grandparents, now gone from this world. Grandparents whose home I now call my own. A home I purchased during what I’d most definitely call a Fire Time; the Covid 19 pandemic. A time where everything I thought I knew about my life was changing at a rapid pace and with very little containment. Here I sit, alive and blessed and deeply challenged with sister fire; once again being stripped, tested, feeling uprooted and vulnerable, grappling with many unknowns.

For as long as I can remember I’ve felt a kinship to the Earth and the Cosmos. I’ve felt a deep connection to wild, elemental, etherial, and archetypal ways of being and relating to the world.

WithIN, Sage for my Sisters — “The Desert Sage Journey” ; The roadmap and organizing principle that guides the journey is the Five Chambers and Elements of Being. Together we explore methods that tap into guidance from our bodies, hearts, souls, the earth, the beauty and depth of the natural world, the cosmos and the divine.

It’s not a coincidence that the elements of our being correspond with the elements of nature and the cosmos: Spirit/Ether, Heart/Earth, Mind/Air, Body/Water, and Soul/Fire. All the elements are always intermingling throughout us, one weaving into the other. Yet, they all hold unique archetypal and elemental medicine and wisdom that can be called on individually for deeper understanding of the nature of our own Being.

When I was receiving the Transmission for The Five Chambers and Elements of Being, I kept receiving a download around placing Water within The Body Chamber. The Chambers of my Mind, Body, Heart and Soul had an ongoing argument about this, for a fiery minute, because— “The Body??? — She’s all Earth!!!! — it’s impossible to separate Body from Earth!!!!”

However, both our body and the earth, are mostly made of water. This awareness ended that argument and opened me up to all the ways our bodies, that house our souls, on this earth, embody the element of water.

Sister Water is life. Try as we might, we cannot live without her and Sister Fire, who’s ravaging our drought ridden desert, has some challenging, beautiful, and powerful wisdom and medicine to share. Mother Earth definitely has, absolutely can, and will continue to survive with us. We cannot and will not thrive, let alone survive, without her. We are 1000% dependent on her precious resources.

This publication will be the first of Five, on a deep dive into The Five Chambers and Elements of Being.My intention is to place more focus on the five elements, Fire, Water, Ether, Air and Earth. However, because it’s impossible to fully separate them, I’ll also be weaving in the five chambers, Mind, Body, Spirit, Heart and Soul, as well.

If this peaks your interest please subscribe and let’s go on a little journey together. It won’t be linear of course. Nothing wild and of soul ever is. Let’s just see where it takes us.

Since I seem to be surrounded by inner and outer fires in every direction, I figured we may as well step into this journey by inviting Sister Fire to sit with us and begin witnessing, listening, and dialoguing with her to see what she has to offer in the current spiral and Cycle of Creation we find ourselves in.

As you read, I invite you to feel into all the ways Sister Fire is currently moving through your own life and being. How has she swept through your life in the past and what wisdom have you gained from being with her, that can perhaps be of use in this moment, right now? Your experience will definitely be unique to you. Take what resonates with you from my personal transmission of sitting with her, but trust your own process above all else.

The invitation is to simply (or not so simply) Be With her. Sit with how she uniquely moves through your being and how you personally work with the element of fire. Maybe fire is a full on vibe for you! Perhaps being with her is where you most thrive. Just witness, with an open heart and mind.

How does Sister Fire both bless and challenge you? How is she alchemizing her way into your life, body, heart, mind and soul, right now, as you read this page? How can she support you in understanding yourself and personal path more deeply? How can you embody her wisdom as a means for midwifing yourself through whatever transition you currently find yourself in?

Midwife

A term formed in Middle English from two elements, mid and wife.

In Middle English terms, “wife” simply meant “woman” and “mid” was an adverb meaning “together with.”

Midwife = With Women

A woman who is with another woman assisting them through various rites of passage: being born, dying, or transforming from one stage of life to the next.

Whew, She’s a fierce, wild, and highly unpredictable one. Sister Fire is most definitely a “F@ck around and find out” sort of medicine. She’ll burn away anything and everything that no longer serves, whether we like it or not. The element of fire, in my experience, feels deeply associated with the archetypal chamber and wisdom of our soul. They both serve as a force much larger than our minds can comprehend. Both strive to keep us awake and alert to what’s moving us from within. The soul keeps our inner fire burning, nudging us gently and not so gently towards our highest selves and inner callings. One thing is for certain, when they come to sit in the center of the circle, you will be transformed.

As smoke fills both the skies and my lungs, here in the Utah Desert, and the potent smell of fire floods my being with a general sense of heartache, grief and questions about whats to come; there’s a steady push, to stay alert, informed, prepared and attuned to what my body and nervous system are telling me.

Let’s just say, the “F@ck around and find out” medicine of Sister Fire is very palpable right now. It’s HOT and the wind is blowing something fierce. Contemplating and being with her medicine and wisdom pretty much feels inescapable. She’s all around me, whether I like it or not, so I’m inviting her in as a teacher and guide for getting comfortable with the uncomfortable.

I’m sitting with all that’s burning within me and the many outer circumstances of my life I seem to have very little control over. Who would I be if everything I physically own and/or inwardly think I know and believe to be solid and secure, were to completely burn to the ground? Done. Gone. Ashes.

How would I rebuild? How would I rise like a Phoenix from the ashes?

What does my body, heart, soul, mind, spirit need to feel fully supported in this time of transition?

How will I support myself? What can I do to remain connected to my creative spark and continue forward with my dreams and callings? Who are my people? Who is it that truly believes in me and cares about the place I find myself in?

I find myself deeply challenged as everything from my body, heart, soul, home, work, finances, relationships, and beyond are shifting around. A fire is officially lit under my ass and has been burning for quite a while now. I have to make a lot of really difficult decisions about what I’d like my life to look like on the other side of the wild fire. For the past few weeks a huge part of me has felt frozen with grief and stuck in the mud while the flames just continue to rise all around me.

But I refuse to fall asleep. I’m staying awake and alert to my experience and the deeper transformation taking place. I’m rooting into my practices and trusting that no matter how dire the situation seems, somehow, someway, I will rise again.

Today, being with this New Moon in Cancer and the Element of Water, weeks after I started writing this publication I feel the flood gates opening. I cannot stop crying. I don’t see this as a bad thing. It’s movement. It’s cleansing. I’m no longer frozen or stuck in the mud. Fire needs Water and Sister Water has placed herself in the center of the circle today. Most of the desert fires I spoke about in the beginning of this publication are now contained but more fires continue to pop up everyday. I saw on the news however, the potential of some monsoon weather and we may even get some desperately needed rain here in the desert. As above, so below. As within, so without. It’s amazing to see how life is always being mirrored back to us through nature and the cosmos.

I’ve read and reread and rewrote and overly critiqued this piece of writing a thousand times now. It’s too long. You’re repeating yourself. Blah blah blah. I’m done questioning myself. Sister Fire has spoken and will continue to speak. She’s saying— post this thing out already!! Send it out. Let her go. She will reach who she needs to reach. Perfection is the enemy of good enough. The creative fire will carry on and its ok to be messy.

Onwards we go! I feel potential brewing in the waters of this New Moon in Cancer and I’m planting seeds for few different offerings….

Moon Circles — Being With both the elements and the archetypal signs associated with the New and Full Moons for the rest of the year.

Five Element Circles — A deep dive into the Five Elements of Being: fire, water, earth, air, and ether; how they move through our life and being and serve as guides, teachers and mirrors for support along the way.

Four Cycles of Being Circles — A deep dive into the Four Cycles of being: birth, life, death and rebirth. Exploring how naming and being with these cycles give keys to what’s needed during transformational times.

These circles will be a sacred container providing a taste of what embarking on The Desert Sage Journey — One : One Mentorshipmight feel like and how creating sacred time for yourself, to go inward and really connect with all aspects of your being can support you during transformational times. Which is honestly, always. We are never not transforming and I am here for it. I’m with you, in this wild and sacred dance of being a soul in a body on this beautiful earth.

Stay tuned for more if you feel called and please reach out to me if you’re interested in The Desert Sage Journey and/or The Sacred Circles feel like something you’d like to experience. 

May your heart lead the way, always.
I ❤️‍🔥 You
Hilary

You can also follow these Transmissions on my Substack account
https://open.substack.com/pub/sageformysisters/p/sister-fire-come-sit-with-us?r=dqvzc&utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web