Body ~ The Great Initiator
It’s still surprising to me how easily we can lose ourselves. Our highest & deepest selves that is. Lose ourselves to old patterns, wounds & beliefs systems. To fear, judgements, comparisons, & over consumption of all that “wrong” within ourselves & the world at large! To the endless mind swirl of what if’s & if only‘s. To the collective grief & trauma so many of us are processing - attempting to wrap our heads & hearts around & find individually appropriate heart centered actions to take in the face of such profound collective chaos.
I took this selfie a couple weeks ago, just moments before receiving a call to go to the hospital to support some very dear friends, one of which had just received and very sudden and life saving heart surgery. I consider it a great honor & blessing to be invited into such sacred, vulnerable & intimate spaces. I’m forever changed by the challenges, blessings & miracles I witnessed in the hours & days that followed that phone call.
Two days later I found myself horribly ill. Deep painful, wheezing cough that sent shock waves through my whole system, landing me in urgent care unable to get my breathing stabilized. Antibiotics, rescue inhaler…..
For me, the body has always been the great initiator into consciousness. Suddenly I found myself deep in my own lungs & heart, shocked by the amount of grief & pain I was holding in these tender inner chambers! I went back to 8 year old me who almost died from a ruptured appendix & spent many weeks in the hospital. I became more conscious of how that experience shaped me, both wounded & saved me. I processed huge amounts of past & present grief, I’m still working to integrate.
Experiencing illness of any sort in my body is never purely physical. It’s multilayered, multidimensional, encompassing every aspect of my being — body, mind, spirit, heart & soul! I inevitably feel there is no choice but to move through every one of these chambers in order to find resolve. It takes tremendous commitment & compassion to piece myself back together in these moments.
I truly believe any work we do inwardly helps heal the collective. So be gentle with yourselves. Stay connected. I Love You.
